I remember...after the birth of Aaden--I never slept again

Written July 26, 2010

I remember...after Aaden was born I never slept again.

To preface this post, let me say that when Rylan was a baby, he slept through the night at 2 months and almost never cried. So my idea of taking care of a newborn was skewed in the wrong direction a little.

I sort of assumed Aaden would be some sort of carbon copy of Rylan. Soon after he was born, I knew we didn't have another Rylan. This little sweetie cried so loud and persistently that we could hear him crying even when he was in the nursery of the hospital.

After the pediatrician checked him the day he was born he came in and said to us, "Wow, that boy's a bruiser". He definitely wanted to be heard.

But he was so squishy and sweet and I didn't care if he cried a bit. I spoiled him the first three months without apology and I loved every second of it.

Anyhow, Aaden liked to eat. He liked to eat A LOT. Jamie told me that since I had a 9 pound baby it would take a lot of eating just to MAINTAIN, let alone grow. So my body went into overdrive producing what he needed. The first few months I just let him sleep in his swing and I slept on the couch (and I'm being liberal when I say 'slept').

By about 2 months, I thought we should transfer into the bedroom (the thought of sleeping on my own bed sounded so divine). He slept in a pack and play in the bedroom. Most nights however, he woke up so often to eat that I eventually just laid him in bed with me and we slept there together (Seth was working nights). That way, he could eat whenever he wanted, and I could lay down and rest.

When we were ready to be done with that, we finally moved Aaden into his crib in his own room. I think this was about 3 or 4 months. At about that time, he would only wake up once in the night to be fed. I remember many nights trudging across the hall into his room and groggily nursing him, cuddling a bit, then laying him back down. This routine continued for some time.

Every month I would tell myself, "next month, he'll surely be sleeping through the night" and then another month would come and go and he was still waking up. At his 6 month check-up, the pediatrician couldn't believe he still wasn't sleeping through the night so he gave me information to read on how to stop this insanity. Mostly it consisted of laying him down in bed, leaving, and never going back. Harsh. I hate to let a baby cry. So I put it off for a while but I was finally so desperate that I tried it.

Now, before this point, even getting him to fall asleep was a significant challenge. He would fall asleep in his swing just fine, but the only other way to get him to sleep was to drive. So there were many, many, many nights we got frustrated trying to get him to sleep so I would load him into the truck and 10 minutes later he was asleep. In those cases, I just took the carseat in and let him sleep there. We were flexible--whatever worked was OK by me!

During the day, I usually loaded both of the kids in the truck and went for drives specifically to get Aaden to take a nap. Sometimes I did this twice a day.

It's amazing how being a parent who is sleep-deprived will do nearly anything to get that baby to just go to sleep. I remember telling a friend that if I could just get a full night's sleep I would never ever complain about anything ever again. It is just that horrible to be that sleep deprived with seemingly no hope in sight.

So when at 9 months he slept through the night, I literally jumped for joy. Ever since then, he falls asleep for his naps and at naptime just fine with just a hug and kiss.

Now that the lack-of-sleep experience is over, I can actually think back about it and smile. It really was hard, but it gave me a chance to bond with Aaden. I got a little extra time alone with him in the night when things were quiet in the house. During those times each night, I would hold him, tough his skin, kiss his fingers, breathe in his scent (which is pure heaven), and just hold him close. Those moments were so special and I actually did love them at the time. I just didn't love being so tired. But besides the lack of sleep the first year, he really has been such a sweet addition to our family. I love kissing his chubby cheeks and making him smile. So even though I'll remember these things fondly, I am thankful it's over.